


A Hunter's Tears

by AssbuttToTheWorld



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Alternate Universe, Bad Ending, Character Death, Destiel - Freeform, Emotional, Hurt, Love, M/M, Major character death - Freeform, Non-Canonical Character Death, POV First Person, Pain, fallen!cas
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-02-09
Updated: 2016-02-11
Packaged: 2018-05-19 08:19:51
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,400
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5960539
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AssbuttToTheWorld/pseuds/AssbuttToTheWorld
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>My name is Castiel.<br/>I am an angel of the lord.<br/>When I was commanded to save a human soul from hell, I obeyed.<br/>When I was commanded to find a way to stop the apocalypse, I obeyed.<br/>When I got too close to the human soul I saved, I disobeyed.<br/>When I fell in love with Dean, I became a traitor.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. A Lonely Wanderer

**Author's Note:**

  * For [My precious xOxOxPiEL0VAxOxOx](https://archiveofourown.org/gifts?recipient=My+precious+xOxOxPiEL0VAxOxOx).



> Point of view: Mostly Castiel.
> 
> Most of the time this FanFiction is based on the Supernatural Universe, but there'll be a plot twist you could see as a starting point to an alternative universe.
> 
> Warnings:  
> MAJOR Character Death! BAD ending! Destiel (Castiel x Dean Winchester)!

_________________________________________________

_My precious hunter’s tears. I swore to myself I would never let them fall again. I would dry them with my hands and shy away the cold of the world with my warmth. I would destroy the loneliness that had captured my precious hunter’s heart. I never wanted to see these tears again. But now they were falling down on me, like on a rainy tuesday night._

_________________________________________________

I was used to be alone. To wander and roam different places of the earth to fulfill the tasks I was given. I was used to obey, to do whatever they told me to do.  
I never asked. So I didn’t question my orders this time as I was commanded to rescue a human soul from hell. All I knew was, that this soul, this human it belonged to, was crucial to the future of earth and heaven. The human needed to be brought back to fulfill his fate. So I obeyed. 

I watched him. The human, named Dean Winchester, as he crawled out of his grave and searched his way through the empty building labeled with ‘gas station’. I watched him for a while. That human was special. His soul was shimmering and shining and it’s colours were from some sort , I had never seen before in a human’s soul. I raised my voice. 

But as soon as the special human was crouching on the floor, shivering in fear, I fell silent again. My voice had shattered the glass of the gas station. And the human was lying in the shards, trembling. I watched, as he slowly rose. He looked around like a hunted animal, hastily grabbed a few things and left the place in a car that was parked outside the building. 

I couldn’t help myself but feel a little disappointment dwelling in my heart. I had thought, since he was so special, and since I had marked his soul with my grace, that he would be able to withstand my true form. But my hopes were crushed in the second he curled up on the floor in fear. Of me. 

I was called by my brothers and sisters shortly after. I wanted to watch over the special human. At last god had entrusted me in saving his soul from hell. But the ‘bigger picture’, as my siblings would call it, was more important right now. They needed me for different tasks. And I obeyed.

But my occupation didn’t keep people from trying to summon me.  
“Go back! Turn away!” I knew my true visage was not suited for most of the human kind. But this person, Pamela, still tried to get a glimpse of me. I felt a strange sensation just before the connection was cut off.  
I didn’t go to the place the calling came from. I was too afraid of what I would find. 

To work on earth I required a vessel. I needed someone who was willing to let an angel borrow their body to fulfill heavenly duties. I was searching for a long time already. At least longer than some of my brothers and sisters. But then I finally heard a soft, quiet voice, praying for an angel to help. The voice belonged to a man called Jimmy Novak. A very devout man, very faithful. I was allowed to use his body to walk among the humans. My real work could start now without delay. 

It was a very unpleasant feeling when I was forcefully called the next time.  
It was more forceful, more demanding. I tried to stand up against it, but there was no chance. At first the calling was like a little whisper, a soft tingling in the substance of my being. But the longer I didn’t follow the call, the longer I did not obey, it began to hurt more and more, until the pain was so bad, I couldn’t even breathe anymore. With the last bit of my strength I managed to fly to the destined spot. It was an old barn in the middle of nowhere. 

As soon as I had arrived, the pain stopped. It faded away to a numb feeling inside my stomach.  
I still needed to get used to my new vessel. Jimmy was a very cooperative vessel. He stayed in the background and I let him sleep, so he wouldn’t have to see everything I did. Especially not to my enemies. After a few breaths had calmed Jimmy’s heart, I entered the barn by pushing away the door. 

I had used too much force. The door flew away in parts and splinters. It also seemed that my grace wasn’t fully contained by the vessel by now, so I caused the lamps, that were lit inside the barn, to explode. Sparks were flying down on me, landing in Jimmy’s hair, on his cheeks, his nose. I wandered until I saw the two humans who had summoned me. I was shortly surprised for a moment, as I recognized the sparkling soul of Dean Winchester glistering in merely silver and orange colour-schemes.

The special human and the older man besides him raised their guns. Before I could shield myself, I was already shot twice. Well, actually, my vessel got shot, not me. And Jimmy would’ve definitely died, if I wouldn’t have been there to protect him and heal the wounds. Nevertheless, it was a very rude thing to shoot at people who just had rescued your ass from hell. 

I let them have their way. I could heal the wounds with my grace without any problem.  
Soon I stood in front of them. My gaze lingered on Dean’s soul, watching him closely. 

“Who are you?” Dean demanded. I could see a tiny shift in colours, to a darker, more aggressive tone, in his soul, as he spoke.  
“I am the one who gripped you tight and raised you from perdition.” I answered, calmly. My voice sounded strangely unfamiliar to me. I still needed to get used to my vessel’s appearance, his voice, even his scent. It was all so strange, so new. And the behaviour of humans too. 

“Yeah, thank’s for that.” Dean looked at me and the second he said it, I felt a slight sting in my vessel’s chest as he stabbed a large knife into it. I tilted my head to one side.  
Now, that was just rude. I gripped the knife on its handle and pulled it back out. My grace kept most of Jimmy’s blood in the body. As the older man attacked me from behind, I turned around, raised my hand and used my grace to take away the air around him. He should only fall unconscious. I wouldn’t want to kill him. Not when it wasn’t necessary.

I felt Dean’s terrified look on me and turned towards him.  
“What did you do?” I could see the fear and anger in his soul, reflected by the furiously changing colours from a crimson red to deep dark purple. I had the feeling he wanted to gut me and hand me with my own intestines. 

“He is not dead.” I immediately said. Dean looked at me in suspicion. “ But we need to talk. Alone.” I looked up to him, tried to search for any signs of hostility, but the colours had shifted to a way softer, lighter color mix again. Dean was still mad, I could feel it in the vibes his soul sent, but he seemed more cooperative now.

“Why did you save me?” Dean’s voice was questioning my actions in disbelief. I tilted my head slightly. “Because god commanded it.” I answered without hesitation. I was commanded to rescue him, so I did. I was a soldier. I followed my orders. I did not question them. But Dean did.  
“Why? Why me?” the special human asked. I was quite surprised about that. I looked up and tilted my head slightly to the left. “Good things do happen, Dean.” I was seriously sincere.  
“Well, not in my opinion.” he kinda snapped at me. 

This human definitely needed some manners. And I also could see something else… I narrowed my eyes, stepped a little closer to him. His soul had shifted to a very strange colour.  
“What’s the matter? Why do you think, you don’t deserve to be saved?” The eyebrows of my vessel furrowed as I watched Dean staring at me, taking a step back and turning his head away from me. I had never seen this much pain in one single human soul. My chest felt kind of heavy as it was clutched by this new, unknown feeling. I was not used to feel ‘emotions’ as humans called them. 

Dean shifted uncomfortably. He still avoided my gaze. And I tried to catch his eyes. His soul moved slightly as if it was unsure where to go. Unsure if he could trust me or not. I took a step back to give the human room. Dean looked at me. “What do I have to do?”, the special human asked me. “We will give you further orders. We need you to stop what has been started.” I watched his soul closely. It still shifted uncomfortably around me.  
“What has been started?” Dean blinked. 

“The Apocalypse.”


	2. Dance with Demons

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dean is told that his brother is meddling with dark forces and demons. The older hunter tries to stop his brother before the angels do.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is written from Dean's POV and concentrates on his feelings.

“If you don’t stop Sam, we will.” This words still rang in Dean’s ears, as he drove with Baby down the street. Cas’ expression had been so… hateful. So stern. Dean shrugged as he increased the speed of the beautiful Chevy 67 Impala, he could call his own.  
Cas surely only acted on his orders. And if it was true that Sam acted like a, mildly said, psychopath, Dean needed to talk to him.Immediately. There had to be an explanation why his brother would do the things, Cas had told Dean about.

Dean nearly crashed with another car as he was enrolled in his thoughts. He hit the brake, harder than he wanted to, Baby’s tires screeched. “Fuckin’ Son of a bitch!” Dean shouted angrily, his heart was beating quite fast. His eyes went to the other car, that had crossed the crossroad without paying attention to the oncoming cars. Dean exhaled and tried to calm his heart again. He definitely needed to pay more attention to idjit-drivers.

Dean shook his head, started Baby’s engines again and drove on. He needed to get to Sammy before the angelic dickheads did.  
“Sorry, Baby. “ Dean muttered. “Won’t happen again, sweetheart.” He softly stroke over the steering wheel. Hell, all this shit made him feel all dizzy and unconcentrated. He blinked several times to get his focus back on the street. But his thoughts still stayed with his little brother and an angelic army that wanted to smite his ass, because god knew what he did. Figuratively.

“Dammit Sam!” Dean hit the brake, drove to the side of the road and slammed his fists on the steering wheel. He clutched his fingers together as he was shaking with anger. And with fear. “If you don’t stop Sam, we will” the words echoed in Dean's head. Dean hid his face in his arms, closed his eyes. “Dammit Sammy… god fucking dammit… why you do this?” Heaven threatened to kill his little baby-brother, because he was doing things… bad things… dark things. Things worthy to get your ass smitten by angelic dicks.

Dean straightened up again. He leaned back into the driver’s seat and stared out the window. “Dean, get it together man, Sam needs you.” Dean muttered to himself, sat up and started Baby’s engines anew. He needed to get to Sam. The faster the better. 

As he arrived at the place Cas had told him to go, he jumped out of Baby, even leaving the doors unlocked. He went up to the door of the old shack, house whatever it was, it looked old and worn down. His fingers laid around the cold door handle. With a fast movement he opened it. Sam turned around, his eyes widened in shock, the girl with long brown hair even took a step back, a nearly unconscious man resting on her shoulders.

Dean’s eyes got cold and harsh. “Anything you wanna tell me Sam?” the older hunter grunted. Sam stared at his brother as if he couldn’t believe he was really there. “Dean… I…” Sam now took a step closer to his brother. But Dean fixed him with a stare every ghost would’ve run away from.

Dean came closer. “What the fuck are you thinking Sammy? And who the hell is this… chick?!”  
The girl looked at him “Hello Dean.”  
Dean stared at her, then at Sam, then back at her “Ruby? That is Ruby? Sam!” Dean’s look flickered back to Sam who carefully took back a step. Sam bit his lip, then gave Ruby a short sign. “Go, the man is hurt.” The demon nodded and left the room without doubting for second.

Sam took another step closer to Dean, but the older hunter threw down the things that laid on a nearby table “What the fuck do you think you’re doing, Sam?!” Dean’s voice was dark, deep, angry. Sam looked at his brother, his face having a puppy-like expression on it.  
“I wouldn’t be here if Cas hadn’t told me about …” Dean searched for words. But he couldn’t find any. “...this” it was the only word to close his sentence with.

Sam looked at his brother, his expression changed to a more stubborn one. “ Cas? The angel? He told you about what I am doing?”  
“Yes” The older brother snapped at the younger one “Do you know how far from the right track you are? How far from human ??”

Sam avoided Dean’s gaze, the angry look in his brother’s eyes. Sam clenched his fist. “ I thought I did the right thing! I still think I do! I am exorcising demons.” “Use the knife, Sam!” Dean’s voice was stern and harsh. “But the knife kills the victim!”, Sam now dared to look into Dean’s eyes. The younger brother was angry and hurt. “You were gone! I had to continue. And it works!”

“An angel told me to stop you Sam! You know that it is wrong!” Dean came closer to his baby brother. The baby brother the angels had threatened to kill. Sam looked away, hurt and angry he grabbed his jacket and left the room, leaving Dean behind him in silence.


End file.
